A Champion is needed to prevent the cares and woes of worldly life from interfering with our peace and tranquility, cutting into the joys and pleasures of earthly life. The world is too powerful otherwise. Left to its own devices, the News, Talking Heads, Radio Jocks, employers, salesmen, digital tracking devices, and other intrusions will enter and occupy every part of our homes, every day.
After all, the “world” commands a great deal of attention: Righteousness, war, terrorism, nationalism, greed, ambition, folly, illusions, crime, hunger, racism, cruelty, environment destruction, religious strife, intolerance, persecution, politics, governments, villains, enemies, and other affairs that incite our prejudices and competitive nature. All of which introduces worry, doubt, and fear.
Yet, at the same time, we can’t get along without the modern world, let alone thrive. We need its science and technology, personally and professionally, to make our way in the world. Which is constantly changing as are the needs of our family.
Clearly, we need to create a balance between the best the world has to offer and avoid its worst. Someone has to create this balance. We call that someone the “Champion(s) of Refuge and Sanctuary” The job is too big for one person, especially since the husband and wife are usually both working outside the home. It’s a shared responsibility, nowadays, the “lead” going back and forth according to circumstances at the time.
No matter who has lead position, the objective is the same: Put sensible limits on intrusions from the outside world, creating an equilibrium that takes advantage of all that the modern world can offer while preserving home as a refuge and sanctuary.
Success won’t be due to rules and regulations but “protocols,” mutual agreements based on good judgement and discernment. Successful protocols will result in peace and tranquility.
“Peace and tranquility” are actual living conditions, not a platitude. Most think that “peace” is the absence of war. Actually, “true peace” is the absence of opposition in any form; word, deed, and especially thought. “Chew on what’s eating you” and you won’t be at peace.
It’s easy to confuse “tranquility” with being quiet, sounds. Actually, tranquility is a frame of mind, one that’s free from disturbance, confusion, commotion, agitation, anger, worry, doubt, and especially fear. Thus, home can be rambunctious and tranquil at the same time.
Indeed, peace and tranquility is the telltale sign of a proper equilibrium between the world and a home refuge and sanctuary. It won’t happen by itself. Someone must be a guiding light. That someone is the “Champion of Refuge and Sanctuary.”
Lest you think the Champion is a new idea, or responsibility, it actually goes back eons. Back then, the Lady of the House was automatically the Champion, with responsibility to protect the refuge and sanctuary, sacred space
Anointing the Champion: That’s why her wedding was like a royal coronation. She was dressed like a queen to symbolize authority over her realm. The wedding dress is like a royal gown, a tiara sits on her head, a veil covers her face, she’s attended by ladies in waiting, flower children lead the procession, there’s special music, a holy man or high official presides over the ceremony. A feast is held in her honor, guests eat, drink and are merry. That’s the way it was in ancient Greece and Rome, and usually the way it is today.
Continuing after she returns from her honeymoon, the new bride was carried over the threshold, lifted off the ground, so the turmoil of “world” won’t be carried inside the home on the soles of her shoes. Exactly as we do today.
Passing the Torch: Next came a “house-warming” party. The name comes from ancient times when the mother brought embers from her family’s hearth and lit her daughter’s new hearth, thus “passing the torch.” It then became the bride’s responsibility to “keep the home fires burning,” i.e. protect the peace and tranquility of her home.
Simply put, the bride had authority and responsibility for everything that happened inside the home. The groom had responsibility to protect it from all outside threats; the elements, maundering armies, and wild beasts, not letting them past the exterior walls.
Shared Responsibility: Nowadays, it’s no longer a sword or spear that’s used to protect the family home, but money! And the groom no longer has sole responsibility to “bring home the bacon.” On account of stagnant wages, Cost of Living, loss of company pensions, and the extraordinary price of homes, the bride must now also “earn a living.” Thus, Champion of Hearth and Home is now a shared responsibility, the lead going back and forth as responsibilities and other obligations allow.
Protocols: Shared responsibility is more than splitting up the chores, it means mutual agreement on “protocols” the family will follow in balancing the conveniences of the world against the imperative of preserving home as a refuge and sanctuary. It takes good judgement and a discerning mind to first arrive at these protocols and, second, to share responsibility in following through.
These protocols must be constantly updated, as circumstances change and the family is constantly evolving. After all, every family is different and the amount of “tumult” they can tolerate before losing their equanimity will be different. All the more reason why every family needs a champions(s) to light the way. Since the job is too big for one person when both parents work outside the home, it’s a shared responsibility with the lead position changing according to other responsibilities and obligations.
Equilibrium: Minimizing the travails of the world and maximizing the delights of earthly life is the principle that guides the Champion(s) in establishing these protocols. The aim is to create an equilibrium between the two realms but that doesn’t mean equal amount of the world and earthly delights.
It actually means a ratio that recognizes the world cannot be ignored, but the preponderance must go to earthly delights. The aim, in fact, is to counterbalance the negative aspects of the world with the delights of earthy life, which help everyone be healthy and happy.
It takes good judgement and discretion to create and maintain this equilibrium. It won’t happen by itself. It needs a Champion to lead the way
Lead the Way: Left to its own devices, the world will always command more attention and deliver the least satisfaction. The world doesn’t care that the children are young only once! If the quiet pleasures of life are to take center stage, it’ll only happen if a Champion is leading the way.
Timeless Challenges: The modern world, on account of technology and telecommunications, presents new challenges to preserving home as refuge and sanctuary, but not unique ones. Those in ancient Greece and Rome were also confronted with the base aspects of human nature, which contributed to worry, doubt, and fear.
Then as now, no lone person can prevent these travesties and tragedies from occurring in the first place. However, the Champion can prevent them from polluting the sacred space. First, by not letting them become a staple of daily life. Second, and moreover, he or she can counterbalance them by making home an asylum for sweetness, beauty, and love. This was known in ancient times as “keeping the home fires burning.”
Now as then, home should be a sanctuary for love, intimacy, marriage, children, friends, family, home, love of Nature, flowers, trees, wildlife, pets, good food, drink, holidays, humor, laughter, celebrations, travel, vacations, sports, exercise, art, literature, music, hobbies, spirituality, and other engagements that feed the soul, the joys and pleasures of earthly life.
Modern man may have coped with more change in the last 120 years that in the previous 7,000 years of recorded history, but we’re right on the edge of being overwhelmed. That’s why we need to keep the home fires burning more than ever.
A Last Word
That’s also why a true Champion is needed more than ever. Unlike Victorian times when absolute rules determined what was and wasn’t allowed in the house, it’s now protocols, i.e. mutual agreements that are needed to get the best but avoid the worst of the modern world.
After all, unlike the Victorians, we can’t get along without the modern world, let alone thrive. We need its science and technology, personally and professionally, to make our way in the world. Which is constantly changing and the needs of our family is constantly changing.
Rules won’t work. too inflexible. Protocols can work if developed with care and forethought. Hence, a Champion is needed to constantly monitor the situation and make changes as necessary.
The Champion(s) of Refuge and Sanctuary is not one person who is in charge forever more. They’re not a King or Queen. Nowadays, it’s actually a shared responsibility, the lead position going back and forth according to other obligations and responsibilities. Together, they arrive at the protocols and then take turns in carrying them out.
Regardless of who is in the lead position at present, the mission stays the same – limit the cares and woes of the world from disturbing the peace and tranquility of their home, prevent it from interfering with the joys and pleasure of earthly life. At the same time, engender pastimes, activities, and recreations that create meaningful relationships that help keep us healthy and happy.
This is the test of our times.
END.
